Interview Eight: Psychedelic Psychosis

“I took a remote control with me for whatever reason… I was pressing buttons on it, and that was helping me. I was having all of these olfactory hallucinations. I was smelling bad breath, rosemary and ginger, mangoes… I ended up getting 302’d to the psych ward. I remember my first day in there, I was licking electricity sockets, because I couldn’t move unless I had electricity in me. I would literally sit still if I couldn’t reach the outlet in enough time.”

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Interview Seven: My Experience with Anxiety, Depression, Perseverance, and Hope

“I wish my symptoms were different. They’re pretty much out of my control now. The older I get, the less I can take, you know? I’m 38 now, so I can’t really take as much as I used to be able to take… Where I’m at now, it’s just humiliation… just too much misery. Every day I’m disabled… it adds up.”

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Interview Six: The Problem Child

Interview Six: The Problem Child

“Even when my childhood was good, I kept acting out. I would scream, kick, hit, spray air freshener in people’s faces… I would get really nasty. Pound on doors all night long, pull my hair, scratch my face… I would keep panicking until I couldn’t breathe… just sitting there wondering why I couldn’t stop panicking… when there was nothing wrong.”

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Running in the Wrong Direction

Interview Five: Running in the Wrong Direction (With Update)

“One memory that stands out… This just sounds so ridiculous now, but it makes so much sense! I was at a gas station in the car with my brother, and my mom was pumping gas. And I was afraid that I inhaled too many fumes, and I was going to die. Like, a fourth grader, imagine! Saying this stuff! I remember staying at home that night… that entire night freaking out, not leaving my dad’s side… so afraid I would die.”

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Business as Usual (While Drowning Inside)

Interview Three: Business as Usual (While Drowning Inside)

“I thought I was having a heart attack. The doctors told me there was nothing wrong, but I was so anxious that no rational thought made sense. I had them do more tests. They told me, ‘Cardiac arrest is rare in a 20-year-old. You’re fine.’ None of them ever mentioned stress or anxiety as a possibility for how I was feeling.”

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